The Great Tale of... Um... Well... Erm... Huh...
by Xilmin Nerrar
Summary: 'This is what happens when my mind dreams and I have too much time on my hands... prepare for madness! The Shining hotel is flying through space and I'm in charge of looking after Captain Sisko's daughter. Also, pokémon are an enemy to be afraid of!


The Great Tale of... Um... Well... Erm... Huh...

**The Great Tale of... Um... Well... Erm... Huh...**

**Disclaimer:** This should be self-explanitory, but I'd better put it in anyway. I do not own the Shining hotel, Pokemon, or any Star Trek characters. But the plot is entirely mine! (who else would want it?)

*******

Alone. We were alone... wait a minute... how can you be alone when you are in a group? ... 

Forget that beginning! Let's start again!

Quiet. Space is so quiet (now there I can't go wrong!). The hotel floated on through the empty void commonly known as the Universe in a place between places, where only the nothingness surrounded it - far from any planets, stars or even molecules of gas. All that past the hotel were the few stray strands of radiation from the far away pinpoints of light.

The hotel seemed large, even larger than it should have been, compared to the space that encompassed it. It travelled in a bubble that contained the garden, the croquet area, the maze and those realistic hedge-animals. Inside, the rooms were empty for the most part (unless you're going to count the furniture). There should only have been the three of us staying there, abandoned from the worlds, trapped there with no way out as the ships had jettisoned themselves for no apparent reason a few days before. Yet the lifts seemed alive as they decided to go to the floor above, and the floor below before coming to get you (something that drove me crazier every time it happened). Even empty halls seemed to whisper forgotten phrases and secrets unheard of for years. 

I turned to see the little girl had gone again, running away from me. Why must she do that? I was told to look after her (although against my will - me and children just don't mix) and she insisted on escaping from me. It wasn't like I was verbally frightening her. I was careful to keep the threats to myself. 

I chased after her, me in my typical jeans and T-shirt and she in her old-fashioned frilly dress, her black hair flying out behind her in waves of carefully kept curls. This time she led me down corridors that we had been told not to go through, her managing to find her dad, Captain Benjamin Sisko, in a large hall. He was walking along the sides of the rooms, his dark skin becoming even darker in the dim light. 

I tried to see what he was looking at, squinting my eyes to see through the dullness of the room. The walls were lined with sarcophaguses from some unknown origin. Who had furnished this place? Why would anyone want to have a pleasant party in such a place, surrounded by the dead bodies of those deceased several hundred years ago? 

The girl had stopped at the doorway, giving me the opportunity to grab her and stop her from running to her dad before he was disturbed. I had been explicitly ordered to keep her out of his way. He had business to do here (although what exactly that was, I wasn't sure) and he wasn't to be interrupted. 

Tugging the girl's arm, I dragged her towards the door again, clamping my hand over her mouth when she tried to scream 'help' to her 'daddy'. She bit me! Now I was the one trying to stop from making a noise as I looked at the teeth marks on my finger. "You little **bitch**!!!" I mumbled in her ear, and then tugged her harder. 

She finally surrendered to the pulling and started to follow me. I looked through the door just before I closed it to see the Captain press something red and glowing on one of the sarcophaguses. (No one can resist the red buttons! Especially when they light up)

A loud shudder reverberated throughout the hotel. _You can't get earthquakes in space!_ I thought to myself, rational thinking leaving me for a minute (although I don't think it is usually there to start with). 

"Hey, lookie! A big toy!" The little annoying girl pointed above where Sisko was standing and I saw a hatch was opening. Above that hatch sat a giant furry yellow animal, its red cheeks contrasting defiantly with the luminous fur. It had a tail of a bolt of lightning sticking out from under its matt of fuzz, a slight black splodge at its base. On its rabbit-like ears were two black tips, and on its back were a couple of black stripes. 

_Is that a Pikachu?_ I asked myself, only to get a shrug of the shoulders (if that's possible for a mind to give... I don't think it is... but this was a dream and since when did my dreams make any sense?).

The 'Pikachu' leapt down to squat beside the Captain. It was three times his size, and there was a strange gleam shining in its eyes as it looked down at him. Was it happiness? I could understand that since it must have been stuck up there for some time, lonely. 

It's paw reached down and gently picked up Sisko. Did it want to play with him? I suppose to it **he** was the toy. 

It brought him closer to its eye, staring intently into the man's face. Then with speed that was almost imperceptible for eyes to see, Pikachu bit off his head. The blood squirted out of the wound, out of the severed veins, like a red fountain. 

I heard from where I stood across the room the crunch as the electric animal chewed down on the hard skull. It swallowed and let out a happy "Pika!" that shook the walls and a few sarcophaguses fell to the ground. Then another bite and all that was left in the yellow (and now red-stained) paws were the Captain's legs. They didn't last long in view and were soon gone too. 

I stood, staring, unable to move, unable to comprehend just why there was a giant rabid Pikachu in a hatch above a hall full of ancient Egyptian coffins. There was something in the scene before me that just didn't make sense.

Suddenly I was deafened! The girl (that I had actually completely forgotten about) was screaming her head off, crying in the most high-pitched squeaky voice for her lost father. 

"Shut up!" I hissed, dreading what would happen if Pikachu heard her. 

This only enticed her to get louder (How was that possible?). Pikachu lifted its head to look towards us. I could see that in those eyes was the lust to kill, the lust for fresh meat. Froth fell from its gaping mouth, and I saw bloodstained teeth lined along its red jaws. It cocked its head to once side, said "Chu?" in a confused fashion then lumbered towards us.

"Eep!" I cried and turned to grab the girl to follow me down the corridor away from the monster... only she wasn't there. I turned and saw her form disappearing round a corner. "Hey! Get back here!" I ran after her, hearing the thudding footfalls of the creature behind me. 

I nearly fell to my feet as the hotel shook again. I turned and saw the pokémon was lodged in the doorframe, pawing at the walls to get through. I breathed a sigh of relief and chased after that little monster that I was supposed to look after. 

Turning the corner, I saw clear glass doors shutting on a lift, and inside stood the irritating child. I watched through the glass the lift descend, only to stop a couple of millimetres down. I watched fear fill the girl's face as she realised she was trapped, and my shoulders sagged as I saw her start to cry again. 

I was going forward to try and force the doors open, only to realise that instead of the lift going down, the doors were moving upwards, and just when I thought they would move past, they continued on into infinity. It was like a million doors were joined together and they kept passing me by with no way to stop them. 

I watched the sheets of glass - only distinguishable as doors by the handles that kept moving from through the floor, past me, and on through the ceiling - pass by helplessly. There was no way for me to stop them. 

It was then that I noticed the slight gap to the side of the doors. It was quite small, but I believed that it might be possible for me to fit through it. I breathed in and tried, careful not to touch the sharp side of the doors for fear of slitting my skin. 

Through. Safe. I looked down at the girl now crouched on the floor, her tear-streaked face buried in her arms. Pulling her to her feet, I started dragging her to the gap to get back on to secure ground. Only she was now screaming again, telling me she didn't want to go out there. There were bad things out there trying to kill her, and so trying to kill me.

"That's just stupid. There's nothing out there that could harm us!" I said, the memory gone of what had caused her to run.

Only it was then that from around the corner came what the girl had feared. I looked at it and saw with disgust that we were at its mercy. How could we defeat it? How could we destroy the... the... the... the nice person!!! (Hey! It was scary in the dream! Work with me here!) 

The lady walked towards us, her wavy blond hair fell onto her shoulders and her long pink dress flowed around her feet, smiling that pleasant smile on a perfect face and I felt like joining the girl in screaming. Was there no end to the tortures? 

Her thin arm stretched through the gap beside the doors, reaching for me. I tried to back away only to find the lift was shrinking around me. There was nowhere to hide from this terrible menace, this kind woman. Instead I found myself being pushed from behind by the walls of the lift towards the outstretched hand. The nails touched my skin and I shuddered with sudden cold. I had just been touched by one of the dead!

She would have me; there was no escape! Her hand gripped my arm... I was captured. 

*******

... and then I woke up... That's true enough. It was a dream! Yes, yet another dream-inspired fic from me. Only isn't this worse than anything I've ever dreamt before... ::thinks:: ...Nah! It's just the worst I've put into writing! ;)

Well come on people. I'm looking for comments here. If I wasn't why would I bother to share the 'Crazy Madness' with you all (that's what I used to refer to this fic as... can't think why... ;) ) You can send me anything, from good, bad, pointless, helpful, or just plain 'Crazy Madness'!


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